we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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