I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
