I think my vagina is haunted
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
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