Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Randomize
