i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Let the clothes fall where they may.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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