all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Randomize
