end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
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