I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I understand Curling. That high.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
