he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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