I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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