Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
look no pants
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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