think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I cockslap morals
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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