thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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