Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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