just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
