yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
