I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
