scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
