just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
