He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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