I can tuck mytits in my pants
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
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He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
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also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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