I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize
