Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
