i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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