mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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