My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Randomize
