i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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