Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Randomize
