Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Randomize
