Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I wear drunk well.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
