I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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