You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
