And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
