I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
