2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
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I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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