I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
