If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Randomize
