people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I woke up under a house in Key West
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