i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
