Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
