drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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