Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
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