ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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