Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Come see our sink grown plant.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
