Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.

  (1-330): View more from Ohio

  Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (330): I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry. (1-330): Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now. http://tfl.nu/tk0f
  Replies (28) Good night (849) Bad night (4276)
• Favorite

  (205): View more from Alabama

  im getting a BJ in a closet

  (205): View more from Alabama

  and a penguin just handed me a bong

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (205): im getting a BJ in a closet (205): and a penguin just handed me a bong http://tfl.nu/oarm
  Replies (60) Good night (12573) Bad night (1024)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (732): im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad. http://tfl.nu/jkuj
  Replies (9) Good night (874) Bad night (3963)
• Favorite

  (970): View more from Colorado

  Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (970): Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty http://tfl.nu/gq3b
  Replies (9) Good night (4188) Bad night (1086)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (248): like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life. http://tfl.nu/wwre
  Replies (3) Good night (3170) Bad night (1125)
• Favorite

  (970): View more from Colorado

  Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (970): Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking. http://tfl.nu/jhua
  Replies (4) Good night (921) Bad night (1917)
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (541): ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack http://tfl.nu/jnxf
  Replies (7) Good night (1014) Bad night (1539)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (630): I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night http://tfl.nu/4uc3
  Replies (8) Good night (1379) Bad night (749)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (407): So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina http://tfl.nu/bjxi
  Replies (22) Good night (977) Bad night (2314)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (206): Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf http://tfl.nu/6f6i
  Replies (4) Good night (1272) Bad night (543)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Love me.

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Just for one nugget?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (508): Love me. (781): GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS. (508): Just for one nugget? http://tfl.nu/9y03
  Replies (6) Good night (2922) Bad night (854)
• Favorite

  (904): View more from Florida

  They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (904): They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??! http://tfl.nu/4zc8
  Replies (4) Good night (842) Bad night (436)
• Favorite

  (802): View more from Vermont

  as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (802): as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment http://tfl.nu/bym2
  Replies (6) Good night (770) Bad night (1355)
• Favorite

  (447): View more from

  Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (447): Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole http://tfl.nu/m1fc
  Replies (1) Good night (291) Bad night (757)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (206): She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes. http://tfl.nu/c6ex
  Replies (8) Good night (477) Bad night (164)

Randomize