Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Everyone says I win the strip club
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.