so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.