found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
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