This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
