I wannas sexs uuuuu
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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