Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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