i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
