Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I currently don't understand fingers.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
