I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
