and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
