Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Randomize
