I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Randomize
