you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
