I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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