why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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