that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
This is classic penis vs brain.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
