The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
