Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
