I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
