At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
