i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
