I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
