I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
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