hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
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what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
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