butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Banned from zoo.
Again?
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
