It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
