what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Randomize
