Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
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