apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
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