remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
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But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
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I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
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