he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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