her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
