it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize