I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
