I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
