what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
